Since childhood, I observed that the only accepted and “normalised” form of romantic relationship was between two “heterosexuals”. As a teenager, I always felt like I was attracted to only men, but there were times when I felt this strange attraction towards women. Strange because, during that time I was not at all aware that sexuality is a spectrum and that it’s completely normal to be attracted to more than one gender.
Eventually I realised that it was just something that was taught to me. However, being attracted to women confused me. In the past one year, I have explored a lot about my sexuality and surprisingly, I came to know that I am attracted to a person irrespective of their gender. All thanks to dating apps!
By meeting all various kinds of people, I realised that my sexuality is fluid and I wouldn’t like to give it a tag. By not giving it a tag, I feel more liberated and it always makes me more curious about myself. There were times when I felt that I might identify as bisexual. However, due to the stigma, I always ignored these thoughts. I had extensive conversation about this with my friends and I realised that it was really difficult for me to accept that I identify as bisexual.
Gradually, I started researching more about the LGBTQi community. As I educated myself more, I became more accepting of the fact that it’s completely normal to feel attraction towards more than one gender and that sexuality is a spectrum. As of today, I have come to terms with the fact that my sexuality is fluid and that I would not like to label myself with any particular term.
Being a part of this community has given me a safe space to be myself and explore my sexuality and gender identity. I am still exploring my gender identity because there are instances when I identify as a woman and there are times where I don’t really feel any sense of belongingness with any gender. My pronouns are she/her however, at times I feel that she/they are the proper set of pronouns for me which actually represents what I feel about my gender identity.
I am still in the process of exploring it and I genuinely love this process of self-awareness because it actually helps me to grow as a person. Through this process, I got the opportunity to learn about diverse people around me. This journey has made me realise that each and every person’s sexual orientation and gender identity is personal and no one should ever question that.
I believe it’s time that we as a society, respect and normalise each and every person’s gender identity, sexual /romantic orientation and gender expression. There is no one way of living and unless and until it’s not harming anyone, each and every person should have equal rights to live on their own terms without feeling any shame or without any fear.
Akruti (she/her) is a 2nd year law student, based in Ahmedabad. She loves reading books and articles on feminism, patriarchy, gender justice and toxic masculinity. Apart from reading, she loves sports and exploring new places in her own company on her bicycle. She is a big foodie and enjoys experimenting with different cuisines!