Navigating life’s transitions—whether it’s graduating, switching careers, moving to a new city, or stepping into a new role—can feel like a rollercoaster of excitement, uncertainty, and stress. I often witness my clients, and personally reflect on my own journey, as they grapple with these changes. The common thread between all these transitions is that they are filled with the promise of something new, but also the weight of the unknown.
Transitions are often challenging because they disrupt our sense of stability. They come with stressors that activate one or more of the following factors: novelty, uncertainty, threat to ego, and loss of control. These factors, especially when changes are unexpected, often fuel stress.
For example, moving to a new city brings an overwhelming sense of novelty. The streets are unfamiliar, the people are strangers, and your usual support system is miles away. That initial discomfort is completely normal. What we often forget during these moments of transition is that discomfort is not permanent. It’s a phase. We adapt.
One of the first steps in navigating change is identifying what’s causing your stress. Is it the newness of the experience? A fear of inadequacy? Is it the uncertainty of what lies ahead? Or does it feel like the loss of control is weighing you down? Clarity can come from recognizing the source of discomfort, and with this clarity, you can begin to address it.
Take uncertainty, for instance. It’s often one of the hardest aspects of change to handle. Research shows that we experience more stress when faced with an uncertain situation than when we know exactly what will happen. This was evident when I was working with a client preparing for a job change. Her anxiety wasn’t necessarily about the job itself but the uncertainty that came with it. What if she wasn’t good enough? What if she didn’t fit in? The uncertainty about her new role made her question everything she thought she knew about her capabilities. Sound familiar? It's a story that many of us share.
In times of transition, uncertainty is unavoidable. Graduating from college, for instance, is a huge shift in identity. You’re stepping into a new world, leaving behind familiar structures and routines. This loss of structure can feel unsettling but also exciting, as it is filled with potential for new beginnings. Much like how a plant in a pot feels cramped, but once it’s replanted in fresh soil, it can bloom.
Another factor that makes transitions difficult is the loss that often accompanies change. Leaving behind a familiar place, identity, or phase of life can create feelings of grief. Take, for example, someone transitioning from being an employee to a stay-at-home parent or someone leaving a job they’ve held for years. There’s a loss of routine, colleagues, and a sense of purpose. These are not just emotional challenges; they’re real losses that need to be acknowledged. And it’s okay to grieve them.
When I went through the transition of becoming a parent, I had to confront my identity shift. I wasn’t just a professional anymore; I had a new role, a new responsibility. There was a sense of grief for the "old me" who could be spontaneous, travel for work, and focus entirely on my career. But embracing the changes, as challenging as they were, also brought a deeper connection to a new purpose.
So, how do we navigate these transitions? By acknowledging that discomfort, uncertainty, and loss are part of the process. And by recognizing that growth often happens when we step into the unknown.
Maya Shankar’s podcast A Slight Change of Plans beautifully captures this sentiment, showcasing stories of people who’ve undergone life-altering transformations, often against their will. Their stories remind us that transitions, no matter how hard, lead us to discover new strengths and capabilities. It’s in the moments of struggle that we often find our most significant growth.
In my personal experience, transitions can trigger self-doubt. I often question whether I have what it takes to succeed in the new phase of life I’m entering. But I’ve learned that change is not something to fear. It’s an opportunity for growth. As I take each step forward, my confidence and competence grow.
When navigating your own transitions, I encourage you to ask yourself a few key questions: How might this change expand your potential? For example, starting a new job might feel daunting, but what new skills could you develop? How might this transition shift your values? It could lead to deeper reflections about what truly matters, whether it’s your career, family, or personal passions.
The most powerful question you can ask is how this change might redefine your sense of self. Transitions force us to rethink who we are, which can be uncomfortable but also freeing. It’s in these moments that we truly learn who we are and what we’re capable of.
The beauty of transitions is that they are temporary. The discomfort eventually fades, making room for new growth, new understandings, and new opportunities. Life’s transitions are messy, but they’re also a reminder that we’re capable of much more than we often give ourselves credit for.
